I enjoy the sun...

...only when i'm on the beach ;)

Last weekend we had a little company outting to Laiya, Batangas. The beach was a bit disappointing; with its jellyfish and rough sand, and the problematic trip to and from the resort, it was not really that great. The break was a blessing for all of us though... we all needed to get away from our computers and enjoy each other's company in a different environment (kung walang tutong sa taong gutom, wala ring masyadong pangit na resort para sa taong laging kaharap ang monitor... haha).
We had so much fun playing games, sharing stories and eating together. Nung nag-e-enjoy na kaming lahat sa activities, naging sulit ang lahat ng hassle sa pagpunta don. And I really enjoyed taking pictures!!! There were lots of flowers and other beautiful sights in Balai sa Laiya , so I thought I'd pratice taking cutesy pics :D Syempre di ako marunong magfocus/maglaro ng settings and stuff, I just used the preset modes :P (daya :P)

~ pretty white orchids ~

~ cute little red flowers ~

~ beautiful orchids in the dining hall ~

~ nicholas' shoes (he doesn't like sand getting in them) ~

~ bonfire + hotdogs + good friends + starry night = great evening ;) ~

~ the colors of summer :D ~

bangag

Sobrang daming nangyari since my last post kaya lang wala ng time magblog. Ang dami kong bagong kuhang litrato pero di ko pa ma-resize at ma-post. Napakarami pang mangyayari, lalo na ngayong susunod na mga weekend, pero palagay ko wala na rin akong masyadong oras para ilista lahat ng mangyayari.

Ang daming trabaho! Sana lang magamit ko na sa bakasyon yung lahat ng bank hours ko... mahigit 1 linggo siguro ako pwedeng wala sa opisina :D

(Obvious bang filler post lang to? :P)

Last weekend, my training batchmates, Mike and I went to this resort in Antipolo proper. We came in a bit late (~9pm, 2 hours past the scheduled time) and there were already a lot of people in Loreland.

There was a bit of trouble picking a place to stay in -- we had 3 kinds of info regarding rates and capacity of the rooms. The package rates on the brochure is different from what their personnel told us over the phone, which altogether varied from the rates presented to us when we were about to check-in.

Anyways, we took a room to house all 7 of us. It was pretty okay, though it was a bit far from the pools. The rowdy groups monopolized the 2 pools anyways, so we spent most of the night drinking (yung guys, alcohol; kami ni Pattie-- coke!), playing cards (where Mike and I consistenly lost.. haha) and pigging out (many thanks to Pat's mom).


After an hour's sleep, I roused everyone when the personnel finished cleaning the pools so we can go back to swimming. Lo and behold!!!!
With the morning sunshine and most of the people gone, it was like a different place. We discovered lots of other cottages , five more pools and jacuzzis.

Ang saya! Thanks to everyone for accommodating Mike (and Mart's Chai). Iba talaga ang feeling when your friends give a warm welcome to your special someone. Sana sa susunod sa Puerto naman tayo! :P

Photography 101

I was browsing my friends' blogs yesterday when I came across Aldwin's new post. I was really amazed at the beautiful photos of gumamelas! The clearly focused suject with the blurred background is the effect I wanna capture in my Cybie (my Sony camera), but no matter how many times people explain the aperture/light/blabla thingy to me, it just won't sink in :(
I then had a mental note to ask Alds again about setting up Cybie. It had a weird effect on me though... I guess this camera thing went to my subconscious. I had this weird dream last night: the NEC people went on an underwater cave boat trip. Along the way, Alds was giving me "artsy-fartsy" photography pointers on the lighting and angles. As he was discussing the aperture, he was telling me focus on Hunnypot and adjust the other thingamajigs on Cybie so the cave walls will be blurred. Suddenly, he started asking me if I can focus on the things behind Che O_o I remember him saying, "Kita mo yung haze sa likod ng Hunny? You can't see that normally, but having these settings on your cam, you now can." All of a sudden he was teaching me how to take picture of ghosts!!!! The weird part is, everything he says appears on Cybie's LCD! ("See that girl floating near that rock formation? Her face shows up clearly from this angle.") I was begging him to stop teaching me but I still find myself capturing the ghosts' sullen faces... X_X

When my mom roused me from my sleep at around 8 am this morning I was more than happy to take a shower to shake off the mental images. I don't think I'll be using Cybie at night any time soon :(

Angel...

I recently loaded new songs into my trusty MP3 player (I usually have the same songs for weeks until I get tired of them). This time, instead upbeat dance songs, I have contemporary band music and mellow love songs. On my way to work, I got to listen to Robbie Williams' "Angel". The chorus really stuck in my mind... it made me realize how much I'm missing Mike, and how I long to be with him at that very moment.

Here's my version of the song's chorus (Of course, I changed the pronouns :P) :

And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

I've said this before and I'll say it again: I'm very thankful that you came into my life, By. Others may think poorly of you, because their shallow minds can only come up with shallow reasons. Maybe because you smoke? Maybe because it took you a while to get to where you are now? I don't know. I also don't care. But, just like the song says, the unconditional love is always in both of us.

Unlike before where we can spend the entire day for the whole week together, we're now limited to just half a day per week. It makes me feel weak digesting this realization, but I don't have anything else to do but live with it. For now, I can only look at the positive side of things: we can focus on our careers, we can look forward to each nightly phonecall, we will be smiling wider whenever we get a text from each other, and we will appreciate each moment we spend together, knowing that the next time we'll be able to hold hands again is next week.

You are not perfect; well, so am I. One thing's for sure though: we are perfect for each other.

I miss you so much, Mike. Can't wait to see you this Saturday :)

On Valentine's and freeloaders

I've heard somewhere that the funeraria business booms when most people are supposed to be celebrating -- on Christmas, on New Year, on Mothers'/Fathers' Day, and yes, especially on Valentine's day. Just because the world is celebrating does not mean everyone is happy. I'll tell you why.

Just this morning, I had this urge to lash out at our neighbor who used our phone. He was sort of elderly, and I swear, their family really has no shame going to our house almost everyday so they can use the phone. They're not very discreet either. At first, they would shout "Aling LITA!!!" till my mom opens the gate for them. When they actually use the phone, they absolutely make no effort whatsoever to lower their voices. What the hell? Stores with payphones are just a few houses away, but here you are using the phone for free, yet you don't have the decency not to wake up everybody in the house? Grrrr....
To make things worse, when I was about to head out of the house, the stupid freeloader exclaimed, "Uy, ang taba ni Tintin o!!" GAGO!!! I pay the bills here, you stupid bastard!!! It's one thing to be concerned (like you know, you want the person to know she should start dieting), but man, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?! Some people think they deserve respect just because they're old. Geez.

Last night my brother and his friends were drowning themselves in gin. This would have been fine by me, except for two reasons:
1) they were noisy, so it was hard to sleep (I have work the next day) and
2) my brother was forced to take leave. Without pay.
COME ON!! Geez!!!! He doesn't have enough money as it is, yet he has the nerve to spend whatever he has on something as meaningless and useless as gin. Give me a break. He doesn't even contribute in paying the bills at home, and he has two mouths to feed. What exactly does he expect? Everything to be given to him on a silver platter? GRRRRRRRR! I am so angry for words -_-;

So.. back to the Valentine's thing. This certainly is not a Happy Hearts day for me. It's actually annoying me seeing other women with flowers. Not because I greet you "happy valentine's day" does not mean I am actually happy.

This day is SOOO not going well.

birthday blogthing thingy

Your Birthdate: October 8

Watch out Donald Trump! You've got a head for business and money. You'll make it rich some day, even if you haven't figured out how yet. A supreme individualist, you shouldn't get stuck in a corporate job. Instead, make your own way - so that you can be the boss. Your strength: Your undying determination Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle Your power color: Plum Your power symbol: Dollar sign Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Naku ha.. wish ko lang :D

leave me alone

If I could just go to an empty island and stay there, alone and undisturbed, even for only two days, I think I can have my sanity back.

I am so sick of my redundant, endless and pathetic problems. ALL I WANT IS PEACE. Silence. Solitude.

*sigh*

I am so angry I can't even shout.
So sad I can't even cry.
So desperate I can't even reach out for help.

Now I know why some people choose to end their lives.

Friday the 13th

I had been looking forward to this day. This Friday I will turn over the all documents I prepared, I get my salary, and I can afford to be uber lazy all afternoon as it is my last day here in the Gateway office. I was planning on buying some clothes after work too, and we all know how fun shopping is. There's no work tomorrow, so I can be with Mike later tonight and not worry about what time I go to bed.This was supposed to be a good day...

Well, everything was going well until my Mom texted me that my tita was at the hospital. My sister-in-law told me "di daw makapagsalita si tita". I then learned that her sugar level got way too low. I decided I could cancel the shopping so I can go to St. Vincent to visit her. Sigh... I don't really like it when people close to me need to be confined. There's just something about hospitals that freak me out. It's like a lonely, depressing place that people only go to when bad things happen (well... unless you're there to give birth or to have your annual checkup). Anyways.. as if things weren't bad enough for the family, my nephew was confined too just this morning. He's been having a bad tummy since last night :( *sigh*
Dear God, please keep them safe. Tita Mart, David... please get well soon....

sabi ko nga e....

obsessive compulsive


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


OC? ako? talaga?
oo nga... sabi ko nga :P

2006....

I wanted to list down all the note-worthy things that had happened to me last year before I fully welcome 2006.
Dear Lord, I want to thank You for all the good (and the bad) things You have given me. I hope I become a better person as I list down my most memorable moments of 2005:

• Lo and behold, I finally graduated. Haha... Never in my life had I expected I would take that long to finish college. Finally my mom can display my graduation picture in our living room >_>
  


• Mike and I celebrated our first anniversary. At his place. With half a gallon of coffee crumble ice cream. Which we shared with his whole family. :D Not as romantic as most would think, but it was great for both of us. I can't wait to see how our second anniversary would turn out this year (haha)
  


• My brother got married. Oh yeah, It was a big event in my life. Their wedding day was also the day I gave (though not whole-heartedly) my room to them.
  


• Little sweet Ainah was born. Yup, 4 days after my brother got married his wife gave birth (yeah, no kidding) to a healthy, beautiful baby. Ainah-bird, as I fondly call her, now gives joy to everyone in our family with her cute smile and warm hugs Ü
  


• My good friend Carla gave birth to Sophia. A few months after they both moved to Canada with Jay-ar. I hope they're coping well in their new home. I miss you Car!!!
  


• I worked at TrendMicro. I do miss some people I used to work with, but boy, am I glad I resigned from that company.
  


• I now work at Accenture. I've been here for 3 months now, and so far, everything went well. I have new friends, I have discovered that I actually like programming (really, 'coz I really hated coding all my years in college) and I save more money Ü
  


• My dear friend Liza got engaged a day after Christmas. Wow!! Go Regnard!! (haha) I wish both of you happiness and.... a dozen babies! jk ^_^ May the Lord bless your relationship. I'm very happy for you guys :)
  


• To cap the year off, I spent New Year's eve with my Michael. *happy happy sigh* There's nothing better than sharing sweet kiss and a tight hug while colorful fireworks paint the sky ^_______^
  

I hope 2006 will be a good year for all of us.

A Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for :

Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

I got this from one of the forums I frequent. I find it cute :D
Quote not applicaple to me though...(yuck! defensive! LOL)

oh yeah, I remember her

While on our way to KFC I saw one of my highschool classmates. She's one of the popular girls at school-- pretty face, lots of admirers and teacher's pet. We were seatmates for almost 3 years(her surname starts with 'O'), which made us close friends. Gosh, I even remember her asking me to play a part in her talent portion for the beauty pageant she joined in school. Honestly though, it was one of the things I wish I never took part of- it was quite embarassing. Anyways, college happened. We lost touch after a few years of not seeing each other. I don't know what happened to her after our HS graduation though I heard from a friend that she got married... at 18, if I remember correctly.
Seeing her today at the mall looking all pretty and glam made me realize many things. First that came to my mind was- a woman can still look very dalaga-like after having babies (haha).
I also thought about how different we've become. Here I was trying to finish loads of tables, outputs and programs while she was at the mall having a good time.
During our highschool days I had moments when I wish I could be her-- you know, pretty and perfect and all that. But now, I really am happy just the way I am. I would never want to trade places with anyone.

Not wishing to be someone else amidst all the problems has got to be one of the greatest feelings one could have. It makes you count your blessings, lets you think how great your family and friends are, lets you realize how wonderful your significant other is, and gives you this huge smile on your face... :)

amazing...

It is my third day at "work". If had a pack of Sky Flakes, 2 mugs of hot choco and 3 hours of wasted time. Yes, it's already 11am and I still haven't done anything productive (well, other than filling out my time record...)
Will we just sit here all day and do NOTHING? Geez... talk about disappointments. I know the day will come when I wish I could spend the day like this, but man.... this is just way too boring. Not to mention disappointing...

perhaps love...

Today I listened to, in my opinion, the loneliest version of this song. Perfectly matches how I feel right now, in a bittersweet way...
*sigh*

PERHAPS LOVE

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don`t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh, love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don`t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it`s cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

thank you for the music

Nelly, No Doubt, Justin Timberlake, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Green Day, Smash Mouth...
God bless you for making the music that keeps me awake while I sort hundreds of mails during my shift.

Thanks to Nescafe for keeping my eyes open with their bland-tasting coffee.

Thank you Nissin's for making the most edible ready-to-eat sotanghon ever.

I wish I could say I will miss the nights I spent in this gray, monotonous, cluttered cubicle filled with stuff that aren't even mine.

I will miss though, the barbecued tofu sold near 7-11. I will miss my 2 shiftmates, especially the one to my right, for she has been very friendly to me. :)

i miss you....

been with you yesterday, but i already miss you. i wanna thank you for always being there for me. thank you for putting up with my shortcomings. thank you for being patient. thank you for not staying mad at me.... because i know if i were in your shoes it would take forever for me to accept your apologies. how can you stand my perpetual state of PMS? LOL....
right now i'm just thankful. i will really try to be a better person for you. don't let go of me, ha?
i love you 'by Ü

twenty questions....

when do you say enough is enough?
how do you know it's time to call it quits?
how do you know you've reached your limits, and that the other person simply loves you so he lets things pass?
how can you tell him, "this is not how i want to be loved"?
how do you say that you wish he would just stop doing the things that irritate you?
does he also wish i were a bit different?
how can i tell him that his smoking bugs the shit out of me?
how can i say that i feel i'm giving a lot, and i hope he would also do the same?
how do i let him know i'm sick and tired of financial problems?
is he hiding something from me?
just how important are his accounts to him?
are they more important than i am?
why are the simplest things very hard to give?
why is it that i give everything.... yet i dont feel i even get half in return?
am i not worth it?
is it bad to ask for more?
why do i feel it's unfair for me?
why do i feel i'm the one who always wants sincere affection?
how do i teach myself not to get hurt?
how i do convince myself to just go with the flow?
......

*rant* :'(

i've been up for 22 hours now, and i still have to work (and attend something i don't even want to be part of)... so basically, i have to stay awake for at least 5 hours more.

you know what? it just makes me think.... what do i get out of this? the obvious reasons are: i will get paid, i can get my clearance, and it's a way to stay out of the house. but why am i not happy? i feel like i'm just doing everything i do... just because. wala lang.

i'm feeling a lot of pressure at home so i wanna go out as often and as long as i want. i got a part time job (and i'm happy with what i'm doing there) but in the process, i got overworked. working from 10am-9am is REALLY tiring. do note that i am not yet counting travel time... so yeah....

supposedly i earn more money (i havent received a paycheck from tfi yet) , i spend less time at home and i get more work experience. kaya lang, pagod na ko. it's like an endless cycle. buti na lang sa sabado i get to stay at home to sleep. i do hope nobody wakes me up when i get home. oh wait... may medical pala ako sa sabado. so much for my rest day....

ako rin!

*sigh*

they say people who have these blogs are, in a way, exhibitionists. they want others to know what's going on in their lives in a way that is more.... impersonal. hehe. in a way that you just want to text someone instead of calling him/her, or worse, talking to the person face-to-face. yet, they jot down everything... ironic no?

others say bloggers don't have close friends whom they can confide to. they just type down everything so their hearts can feel a lil lighter after dumping a few words on this online diary.

as for me.... i'm bored. haha. i've been working for like..... 15 hours now. i have 7 more hours to go. shit. for all the weeks that i've been working here, this is the first time i actually sat down and played around. right now i am more concerned with not falling asleep than finishing my work. lately i've had booboos here at work, pati na rin yung iba, but somehow i get affected. parang wala nang nangyaring tama dito sa office na to. hayyyyyyy.

oh, did i mention that some people also set up web logs to whine? that's what i'm doing right now!!!!!!!!!!! :P

sana 9 am na.. miss ko na si mikemike ko!~~~~~~~