i miss you....

been with you yesterday, but i already miss you. i wanna thank you for always being there for me. thank you for putting up with my shortcomings. thank you for being patient. thank you for not staying mad at me.... because i know if i were in your shoes it would take forever for me to accept your apologies. how can you stand my perpetual state of PMS? LOL....
right now i'm just thankful. i will really try to be a better person for you. don't let go of me, ha?
i love you 'by Ü

twenty questions....

when do you say enough is enough?
how do you know it's time to call it quits?
how do you know you've reached your limits, and that the other person simply loves you so he lets things pass?
how can you tell him, "this is not how i want to be loved"?
how do you say that you wish he would just stop doing the things that irritate you?
does he also wish i were a bit different?
how can i tell him that his smoking bugs the shit out of me?
how can i say that i feel i'm giving a lot, and i hope he would also do the same?
how do i let him know i'm sick and tired of financial problems?
is he hiding something from me?
just how important are his accounts to him?
are they more important than i am?
why are the simplest things very hard to give?
why is it that i give everything.... yet i dont feel i even get half in return?
am i not worth it?
is it bad to ask for more?
why do i feel it's unfair for me?
why do i feel i'm the one who always wants sincere affection?
how do i teach myself not to get hurt?
how i do convince myself to just go with the flow?
......

*rant* :'(

i've been up for 22 hours now, and i still have to work (and attend something i don't even want to be part of)... so basically, i have to stay awake for at least 5 hours more.

you know what? it just makes me think.... what do i get out of this? the obvious reasons are: i will get paid, i can get my clearance, and it's a way to stay out of the house. but why am i not happy? i feel like i'm just doing everything i do... just because. wala lang.

i'm feeling a lot of pressure at home so i wanna go out as often and as long as i want. i got a part time job (and i'm happy with what i'm doing there) but in the process, i got overworked. working from 10am-9am is REALLY tiring. do note that i am not yet counting travel time... so yeah....

supposedly i earn more money (i havent received a paycheck from tfi yet) , i spend less time at home and i get more work experience. kaya lang, pagod na ko. it's like an endless cycle. buti na lang sa sabado i get to stay at home to sleep. i do hope nobody wakes me up when i get home. oh wait... may medical pala ako sa sabado. so much for my rest day....

ako rin!

*sigh*

they say people who have these blogs are, in a way, exhibitionists. they want others to know what's going on in their lives in a way that is more.... impersonal. hehe. in a way that you just want to text someone instead of calling him/her, or worse, talking to the person face-to-face. yet, they jot down everything... ironic no?

others say bloggers don't have close friends whom they can confide to. they just type down everything so their hearts can feel a lil lighter after dumping a few words on this online diary.

as for me.... i'm bored. haha. i've been working for like..... 15 hours now. i have 7 more hours to go. shit. for all the weeks that i've been working here, this is the first time i actually sat down and played around. right now i am more concerned with not falling asleep than finishing my work. lately i've had booboos here at work, pati na rin yung iba, but somehow i get affected. parang wala nang nangyaring tama dito sa office na to. hayyyyyyy.

oh, did i mention that some people also set up web logs to whine? that's what i'm doing right now!!!!!!!!!!! :P

sana 9 am na.. miss ko na si mikemike ko!~~~~~~~